Eat worms and lose weight…or die. Unlike the hard shell of its body, an armadillo has teeth so soft, it can only eat soft foods, such as bugs. Now, I know a little something about armadillos. Texans love armadillos. They even named a city after armadillos. Speaking of Shirley MacLaine, the armadillo was even featured in one of her movies, when they made an armadillo cake, ‘eww, gross.’ I just don’t recall if it was Terms of Endearment or Steel Magnolias. The migrating arctic tern is able to fly 22,000 miles in a year. This gives you just some idea how importantly precious animals are to the Earth and how far a frigging bird will fly just to get laid. And here you are sitting home alone on a Saturday night eating Cheese Doodles, instead of going to the local bar to pick up a woman, while hoping to get lucky. You ought to be ashamed. At least join a dating site. Twenty-two thousand miles? Are you kidding me? The circumference of the Earth is 24,000 miles. I can just see hear his. ’‘Great, too late for me though.’ ‘Yes, I'm sorry, but if we catch these people then maybe we can stop ithappening again.’‘I’m sorry, but it will take much, much more than arresting a fewneanderthal knuckle draggers to stop it happening. Until societyunderstands being different is not evil or perverted and accepts peoplefor who they are, it won't stop.’He looked calmly back at me, ‘Yes, I think you're right, but I can onlytry to catch them and lock them up.’I fell back on the pillows, ‘OK, how can I help you?’‘Did you get a look at whoever attacked you?'‘No, he came at me from behind as I was trying to unlock my door and hitme as I turned round. I didn't get a look at him at all’‘Did he say anything?’‘He called me a fucking bitch and that's why I turned round. And no, Ididn't recognise the voice.’‘Nothing else, you can think of? Anybody who you think would want to doyou harm?’’I'm a private detective, I've upset a lot of people in my line of work,but I don't think there's anyone who.
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